Some times the best hikes are not the smartest hikes and
sometimes these become the best adventures.
Next Exit Gas Food Laughter is a journey of my adventures
through the trails and streams of Southern california. Some times I trail run,
some times I hike mountains and some times I just relax with a fishing pole in
my hand.
One way or another adventures always seem to happen and they
are quite constantly hilarious.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Lobster Bisque Pot Pies

    Years ago I had some crack heads as neighbors. Let me tell you, crack heads do not make the best neighbors and no one wants there neighborhood to smell like meth. Believe me living through a episode of Breaking Bad as the neighbor is no fun at all. I like neighbors who have all their teeth and not open sores on their faces. Luckily the crack heads eventually got evicted. I have not had neighbors now in something like five years and it has been fantastic.
    Except for the last week when the homeless men moved in.
    Well to be fair, they actually live in the back of their truck so I guess they are not exactly homeless as their truck is their home. By the way this truck has been parked behind my car for a week now. I'm assuming its broken down and will stay forever. I'm extremely frustrated by this situation as number one, the POS truck parked almost on my property is making my neighborhood look ghetto and it makes it a huge pain in the ass every time I try to pull out of my driveway to not hit the truck and crappy trailer attached to it.
     My good friend owns the restaurant across the street from me and as for what I am assuming is going on with this homeless men situation, I think he has hired them to work on his restaurant.
     They actually seem like nice people. They said good morning to my boyfriend when he left for work at seven a.m. Popping their little heads out of sleeping bags in the back of the truck. He said it was kind of cute.
     I'm annoyed by this situation because every time I try to sit on my front porch I feel like I am staring down into their "home" and being a creep, but damn it, I was here first and I live here, I'm not just squatting! I deserve to sit on my porch and talk to my cats if I feel like it!
     When I'm not accidently spying on my new homeless neighbors I'm spending my day off making an unbelievably delicious Lobster Pot Pie.
      I actually used langostinos in this recipe ( the pollock of the lobster family) but please use real lobster if you can get your hands on it.

Lobster Bisque Pot Pie

1 tsp olive oil
1/4 red onion
1/2 tsp garlic
1 cup lobster orlangoustines 
1/2 cup shellfish stock
2 tab sherry
1/2 cup diced fire roasted tomatoes
1/2 cup Pecorino Romano, grated
1/2 cup cream
2 Russet potatoes, baked and cut into bite size pieces
1/2 cup corn
sheets puff pastry 

In the oil cook the onion for five minutes until browned. 
Add the garlic. 
Put in a food processer until smooth. Return to heat and deglaze with the sherry. Add the langostinos and the stock. Let cook for five minutes. 
Mix in the tomatoes and let cook five more minutes. Add the cream, pecorino, potatoes and corn and remove from heat.
In a greased baking dish layer one piece of puff pastry on the bottom.
Cook at 375 for five minutes. 
Spread the lobster base over this and put the other sheet of puff pastry on top.
Bake for 25 minutes until the puff pastry is brown.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Pumpkin Coconut Tea Latte

    For two days I have been walking like an old cowboy who just got off his horse.
    No I have not spent days in the saddle. Two days ago I came close to summiting San Bernardino Peak and my calves, butt and yes, even my shoulders are still feeling the burn. ( No, I did not hand stand my way to the top of the mountain. My shoulders hurt from carrying a moderately heavy back pack for twelve miles.)
    I did not have plans to do a work out of any kind this morning but I woke up to the power out.
    There would be no coffee, no heat and no Fox News this morning. I was cold, sleepy and grumpy that I couldn't watch reruns of Shep Smith from yesterday.  So I decided to go for a run.
    I mean my only other option was clean the house,  talk to the cats, read or spy on my homeless neighbors. I just didn't feel like being a creep or being a cat lady so off to the trails I went.
    Good thing I did because the marine layer was thick over the valley and unbelievably gorgeous this morning.
     The clouds were stacked up so thick at about three thousand feet and as my feet pounded the dirt trails above seven thousand feet I had a epic view of clouds so thick I felt like I would walk on them.
     My calves were aching like they would explode any second as I tried to wearily make my way up the steep hill sides. The only thing that kept me going was the fantastic views above seven thousand feet. The cloud coverage got thicker as I looked out to the west and Mt Baldy.

      After I accomplished a good four mile run without my calves exploding some how, I made my way back home to my cabin and the power was back on, oh think god!
      I was already awake and pumped from my run so I whipped up a Pumpkin Coconut Tea Latte in my nutri bullet.
      This tea latte just screams fall! Making it in the nutri bullet will foam it up like a latte  without  using a espresso machine!

Pumpkin Coconut Tea Latte

1 pumpkin spice tea bag
Sprinkle common
1 cup boiling water
1/2 tsp coconut cream
1/2 tsp coconut oil
1/2 tsp to 1 tsp raw honey
Steep the tea bag in the water for five minutes. Remove the tea bag. Combine all in the nutri bullet. Pulse for thirty seconds and serve in a big coffee cup.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Spinach and Feta Quiche with Bitchin Sauce

     After a twelve mile hike I just want to eat a quiche.
      And yes, I mean I want to eat an entire quiche.
      By myself.
      The other day I hiked twelve miles.

      In this twelve mile hike I burned over four thousand calories.
      Any time in your life you burn that many calories, I think the event is brag worthy.
      Unfortunately for me, eight of those twelve miles my feet hurt.
      Do you burn more calories when you are in pain and limping?
     By the time I limped my way back to the car six hours and many foot sores later I vowed to throw my Merrill hiking boots in the trash as soon as I got home.
     Or give them to some one I hate.
     I also vowed to make a quiche, smother it in bitchin sauce and shove it in my mouth hole.

Feta and Spinach Quiche with Bitchin Sauce

4 eggs, whipped
1/2 cup Greek yogurt
1 tab coconut oil
1/2 cup spinach
1/2 cup feta
1/2 cup Bitchin Sauce (Found at Whole Foods)
2 sheets Puff pastry

Whip the eggs and Greek yogurt.
Heat the oil in a sauce pan and add the spinach a few minutes until wilted.
Turn off the heat
Add the eggs and and feta, stir until combined.
Grease a baking dish, layer one sheet of puff pastry in the bottom of the pan.
Top with the eggs and than another sheet of puff pastry.
Bake at 375 for twenty minutes until the puff pastry is brown.
Serve with bitchin sauce, lots of bitchin sauce.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Coconut Cream Cappuccino ( made without a espresso machine!)

     It was a simply gorgeous fall day.
     The leaves on the oaks were all oranges and yellows in the vibrant blue sky at seven thousand feet as I tied the white laces of my running shoes that morning.
     I parked my Subaru in the lot with the other Subaru and Jeep owners from our mountain towns and stepped out of my SUV into a chilly fall morning. It was maybe forty degrees in the shade as I stood shivering in my shorts and light weight sweater. This, I know now, is why runners wear Hefty trash bags before races. They keep you warm but you don't have to run layers back to the car far off in some parking lot seconds before the race starts. ( precious moments you should be spending in the porta potty line as you won't have time for a potty break for 13.1 miles.) 
     Months and months before I stood in a parking lot shivering in shorts and not nearly enough layers on a brisk morning, I had decided to run my first half marathon.
     This was four years ago and try as I might training before hand, I had never run 13.1 before.
     The next three and a half hours would start off invigorating and end up agonizing.
     It was 13.1 miles later and my white shoe laces were no longer white. They were a dusty brown and caked in mud after running my hardest for three and a half hours.
     My legs ached from my butt cheeks to my ankles and we had to walk a mile back to the car from the finish line to the parking lot!
     This is what happens when you do not train enough!

Coconut Cream Cappuccino

1 cup hot coffee
1 tab coconut cream
1 tsp coconut oil
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Combine the hot coffee and the other three ingredients in a nutri bullet for thirty seconds until slightly foamy.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

I Choose to be a Runner

     I didn't choose running.
     Running chose me.
     I was never a athlete.
     No one in my family is athletic at all. My eighty five year old grandmother absolutely can not fathom why I have to run eight miles a day.
     " No one in our family is athletic, why do you have to be?" She asks me all the time.
       My best friend dragged me along on a four mile run four years ago. As I struggled up numerous hills in our mountain town, I panted, I was sweating and I gossiped with her about the things that were important in our lives ( horse racing, cats, and race horses named after cats) I wanted to give up. I wanted her to drive back and get the car. Than as we rounded a corner on the deserted road an amazing thing happened.
      We came around a leave strewn corner of abandoned highway and there was a pack of deer grazing on the side of the hill, munching on what was left of summers dry grasses.
      Suddenly I wasn't tired anymore. I was invigorated and wanted to explore every trail and see what was around every undiscovered corner.
      A trail runner was born.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

The Summer of 89 Makes Me Want to Throw up A Little

     Sometimes I feel like I must repress some of my child hood memories and then they come flooding back to me at the mention of a subject like mushy lettuce.
    Oh yes, mushy, chewy slime like lettuce brings back the memories of the Whoppers and the summer of eighty nine.
   The summer of 1989 I was nine years old and our family did not have a ton of money. This was before EBT cards and the government helping out the struggling middle class like they do today.
    Thank god Burger King ran a special one day in June of '89 or I might not have the disdain for hamburgers I have today.
    My Dad loves to buy cheap things.
   Growing up he would take us school shopping at the dollar t shirt store. Oh yeah, I was a popular child in my dollar eighties t shirts. He also took us to the Hostess outlet to buy car loads of stale pastries.
    His biggest score of all was the great Whopper Extravaganza of 1989. I don't know how cheap those damn Whoppers were, I just know that my Dad brought home about one hundred Burger King Whoppers and than he stuck them all in the freezer and for one summer all we ate were defrosted Whoppers with spongy, slimy lettuce and way to much Ketchup.
   I'm pretty sure this was the summer my Dad was out of work, and my Mom was working all day and she left him in charge of the three kids, all under ten years old.
   I had to tell my Mom this whole story before she admitted that she remembered those Whoppers and we reminisced about their freezer burnt grossness.
   To this day, I'm not the biggest fan of red meat and I'm pretty sure this little episode is the reason.

Friday, November 7, 2014

The 2014 World of Dating # I would rather Hang out with my Cat on a Friday Night

    It's kind of embarrassing but yes I have a Twitter account.
    I will be the first to admit I do not understand the first thing about Twitter.
    Like the whole hash tag thing; I just don't get it.
    A few months ago while I was still doing the whole single thing I found myself very confused by the social media world we live in today.
    I hate to sound like one of my parents but I'm about to buy the book Twitter For Dummies. ( I must be old school, speaking of buying a actual book and not downloading it on a Kindle!)
     One day, months ago, while fully immersed in the world of texting I encountered a new problem.
    Guys who text in hash tags.
    Yes this is a real thing!
    I figured out while being set up on a blind date with a random friend of a friend.
    True story, real text:

                        #So looking forward to meeting you# First date fun# yea!

    What am I suppose to text back to this?

    Creepy guy# way to into social media for me#guess I'm sleeping with Zion tonight#